How Would I Deal With Them?

IITians are confronted with negatives from the time they step into these “illustrious” and “prestigious” colleges until they pass out with flying colors. Some of these negatives that IITians have to face on a daily basis are poor infrastructure, badly-maintained rooms, research labs with poor or non-functional equipment, and many more. Therefore, “how do I deal with these?” is a valid and important question, especially for IITians who have to spend four long years at the so-called “Mecca” of Indian higher education.

Being around negative people can be an emotionally-draining experience. Moreover, the attitudes of negative individuals are contagious because negativity perpetuates negativity, leads to dissatisfaction, and clutters your mind. This makes it hard to achieve happiness.

Mentioned below are 10 different strategies to effectively combat negativity:

Do not take other individuals’ negativity to heart: If you have to deal with negative roommates, realize the fact that the negativity is not just limited to you but to everyone with whom they interact. Their speech and actions are a projection of their inner reality or inner attitude. Even if a situation appears to be personal because of a direct insult, realize that there is nothing against you. As an IITian, remember that the actions, speeches, and opinions of negative people around you are based on their self-reflection. Hence, don’t bother reacting.

Spend extra time with positive individuals: Simply put, the person you will eventually become depends upon who do you spend your quality time with. If you spend your valuable time around cynical people, the chances of you becoming a cynic increase. You must ask yourself the question: Does the company you keep serve as an accurate reflection of your present identity and your future aspirations? Spend quality time with likeminded, smart, and intellectually-driven people. Relationships are meant to help and assist you and not hurt you. Therefore, establish positive relationships with admirable professors, loving support staff, respectable friends, or simply those who make your day brighter.

Be positive and set an example for others: As a positive IITian, you should lead from the front. You may not be a savior of the world; however, you can make it a better place by practicing precisely what you preach through self-awareness, compassion, and protection of your positive space. If conversing with negative people cannot be avoided you can talk positively about daily events, hobbies, happy news, and common friends to keep the conversations light and upbeat. Through optimistic conversations, you can suppress their negativity even if it is for a short period. IIT aspirants, too, can ward off the negative comments of their parents or sibling with regard to your behavior.

Alter your thinking patterns: The only thing that no one can take from you is your patterns of response to others actions and words. The problem does not lie in negative events. The problem is your “reaction” to those events. After all, you have freedom to choose your response in a particular circumstance. Complaints, blames, and criticisms will not change your situation. Therefore, if you find that your laboratory lacks essential equipment, draft a letter to the concerned authorities, and make sure steps are undertaken to resolve the problem. It is a challenge to find happiness in ourselves, and it is impossible to find it externally. Regardless of the situations you face (dirty, unkempt rooms, non-functional lighting, and poor hygiene), you have the ability to choose your response. With a negative attitude, a positive life is impossible. When your thoughts are engulfed in negativity, your opportunities, actions, and behavior are limited.

Come up with solutions: Often, IITians utilize negativity as a barrier for protecting themselves from the world. This, in turn, cuts off solutions that could have improved their lives. Instead, focus on solutions. Do not dwell too much on things that went wrong. Instead, focus on positive steps. Your energy should be spent on reaching a positive resolution. Therefore, if the sweeper at the college is rude toward you or simply unprofessional or incompetent, report the matter to higher authorities. You wouldn’t want to suffer fools as an IITian. Always remember that when you come up with solutions through positive actions and thoughts, noise changes into music, movement into dance, and smile into laughter. What’s more, life becomes a celebration.

Love those Who Deserve Your Love: A few random acts of kindness can go a long way in combating negative thought patterns. If you practice love and kindness (which is difficult), there is no room left for negativity. If you come across a magnetic personality at your institute, let your guard down, approach that person, and speak straight from your heart. Compliment and praise them. Do not think it would be awkward to do so. Just be true to your personality and offer the other person a chance to connect with you, may be in the form of a simple smile. Sometimes, a word of kindness and some attention from a dear friend are all it takes to keep negativity at bay.

Offer Support at the Opportune Moment: Some individuals complain in a way that resembles “crying” for help. Because they are not conscious of it, their comments take the form of “complaints” instead of “requests.” You should be considerate by showing concern. Sometimes your close pals or college mentors may have had a bad day at the institute. A simple “Is everything alright?” or “Is there something I can do to ease the situation?” can work wonders. Never assume or judge. It is difficult to be compassionate if you assume you have everything figured out. Give them the assurance that they are not alone. Individuals overcome negative emotions (such as hatred and anger) when the counteracting forces of love and compassion are in full swing.

Know that Life has it Ups and Downs: As an IIT aspirant, you would want to have a go at JEE. However, keep in mind that thousands fail to crack these exams, leading to negative emotions like despair and loss of hope. Please remember that not cracking JEE is not the end of the world. Umpteen other opportunities can come your way. Acknowledge and accept negativity and let it find a passage through your consciousness, thereby ruining your day but teaching you a vital lesson. Life is a rollercoaster with its highs and lows. This doesn’t mean you hang on to suffering. By accepting negatives and learning from them, the doors to happiness open. This process is a never-ending cycle of human experience. Therefore, chill out, let go of your problems, and enjoy the journey called “life.”

Focus on the Present: Many a times, we carry things from our past that can hurt us, such as failure, pain, anger, shame, regret. Do not let the negative past actions rob you of your present happiness because you have to realize past actions cannot be changed or altered in any way. Therefore, move on and be happy because a great engineering career lies within striking distance.

Let Go of All Bitterness: If everything else fails, detach yourself from the wrong relationship or situation. Some individuals (like dark clouds) brighten your day when they disappear. Therefore, let go of such individuals. Letting go doesn’t mean you hate them; it is just another step in caring for your own wellbeing.

The above strategies to deal with negativities are not just restricted to IITians or IIT aspirants. Even the common person can benefit from the guidelines mentioned above. Remember that all the world’s negativity cannot bring you down unless you give it the ability get to your head. Individuals who can discern the positives in negative circumstances are the ones who will prosper in the long run. Therefore, make sufficient room for a positive day.