Till now its been 4 months since class12 and only electrostatics have been taught in school and for my self-study and I observed that I couldn't solve a single question without having to look back at its solution again and again, and I have never talked about it since I thought it would be silly to ask but no not now and I am gonna stick to it no matter what, so it's my warm request If anybody could help be knowing where I lack and how do I study it to understand and do numerical without getting depressed.

Hey, it's okay. If it eases you in any way, I'm on the same boat as you are. I don't think I'm qualified enough to write this, but all I tell you is this, be patient. It's okay if you couldn't solve a single question without having to look back at its solution again and again. I myself can't understand what they have in the given in questions most of the time. What I can suggest to you is that, first, write the solution in a notebook, understand it bit by bit, then try and answer it on your own. It's a time-consuming process, but I feel like it's worth it. Also, don't get frustrated if you are not getting it the first time, most don't. According to me, your priority should be your health, mental health specifically. Being in lockdown, not able to move freely, not able to attend regular classes can be quite frustrating. But don't get it in your head. It will only distract you from studying. Just be patient and try, I'm sure you'll ace this.

All the best!