{"id":4089,"date":"2014-06-10T16:09:29","date_gmt":"2014-06-10T10:39:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/?p=4089"},"modified":"2014-06-10T16:09:29","modified_gmt":"2014-06-10T10:39:29","slug":"dear-engineers-dare-pass-test-prove","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/dear-engineers-dare-pass-test-prove\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Engineers, Dare to Pass This Test to Prove Yourselves?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Dear<\/a>Engineering is what every other parents wants their children to do. Needless to say what importance it holds in India! Engineers are treated with respect everywhere, social gatherings, family functions, friends\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2-meet. Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be an engineer. But, the word \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00cb\u0153engineer\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2, is greatly stereotyped. If there\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s somebody in your life who you think is trying to pass as an engineer, ask them to clear this test to discern the truth.<\/p>\n

ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

Question: You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. You\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u00a6
\nOptions:Straighten it.
\nIgnore it.
\nBuy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a self- adjusting, solar- powered picture frame, while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron.<\/p>\n

The correct answer is \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00cb\u0153C\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2 but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00cb\u0153It depends\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2 in the margin of the test, or simply blames the whole stupid thing on \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00cb\u0153Marketing\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2!<\/p>\n

SOCIAL SKILLS<\/b><\/p>\n

\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00cb\u0153Normal\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2 people expect to achieve several unrealistic things from social interaction like-<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation<\/li>\n
  2. Important social contacts<\/li>\n
  3. A feeling of connectedness with other humans<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    In contrast to \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00cb\u0153normal\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2 people, the engineers have rational objectives for social interactions-<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Get it over with as soon as possible.<\/li>\n
    2. Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.<\/li>\n
    3. Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Thus, the engineers have different objectives when it comes to social collaboration!<\/p>\n

      FASHION AND APPEARANCE<\/b><\/p>\n

      According to an engineer- flashy, in vogue, striking, sober, different, why people waste so much on various clothing? They all are all just clothes right? Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, well, assuming the basic thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. So, if no appendages are freezing or sticking with each other, and if no genitalia or mammary glands are swinging around in plain view, well then the objective of clothing has been met. And as discussed earlier, anything else is a waste.<\/p>\n

      DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE<\/b><\/p>\n

      A normal person employs various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of appeal. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function. Thus dating is never easy for engineers.<\/p>\n

      But still luckily, engineers have an ace in the hole! They are widely recognized as perfect marriage material- intelligent, employed, dependable, honest and handy around the house! While it\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s true that many normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, but most normal people harbour an intense desire to well, mate with them; thus producing engineer- like children who will have high- paying jobs long before losing their virginity!<\/p>\n

      Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than normal men, thus becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid- thirties to late forties. Now, just look at these examples of sexually irresistible men in technical professions:<\/p>\n

        \n
      • Bill Gates.<\/li>\n
      • MacGyver.<\/li>\n
      • \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u00a6\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u00a6\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u00a6\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u00a6\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u00a6\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u00a6.Etcetera.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent, and remain that way until about thirty minutes after their clinical death. Umm\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u00a6 well, longer if it\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s a warm day.<\/p>\n

        HONESTY<\/b><\/p>\n

        In the matters of technology and human relationships, engineers are always honest. That\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s why it\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s a good idea to keep engineers away from romantic interests, customers, and other people who can\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2t handle the truth.<\/p>\n

        Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid efforts. They say things that sound like lies, but technically are not because nobody could be expected to believe them! The complete list of engineer lies is as listed below-<\/p>\n

          \n
        • \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cI won\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2t change anything without asking you first.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d<\/li>\n
        • \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cI\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2ll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d<\/li>\n
        • \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cI have to have new equipment to do my job.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d<\/li>\n
        • \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cI\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2m not jealous of your new computer.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

          FRUGALITY<\/b><\/p>\n

          Engineers are disreputably economical. This is not because of cheapness or mean spirit, but it is simply because every spending situation is simply a problem in optimization! Like, \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201cHow can I escape this situation while retaining the greatest amount of cash?\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d<\/p>\n

          RISK
          \n<\/b>Engineers like to play safe always. They try to eliminate risks whenever they can do so. This is comprehensible, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake the media will treat it like it\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s a big deal!<\/p>\n

          Examples of bad press for engineers-<\/p>\n

            \n
          • Hindenberg.<\/li>\n
          • Space Shuttle Challenger.<\/li>\n
          • Hubble space telescope.<\/li>\n
          • Apollo 13.<\/li>\n
          • Titanic.<\/li>\n
          • Ford Pinto.<\/li>\n
          • Corvair.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

            The risk and reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:<\/p>\n

              \n
            • \u00c3\u201a\u00c2\u00a0RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.<\/li>\n
            • REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

              Engineers, being practical people, evaluate this balance of risks and rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing to take. The best way to avoid risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for reasons that are far too complicated to explain.<\/p>\n

              If that approach is not sufficient to halt a project, in that case, the engineer will fall back to a second line of defence: \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00cb\u0153It\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s technically possible, but it will cost too much.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2<\/p>\n

              EGO<\/b><\/p>\n

              Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:<\/p>\n

                \n
              • How smart they are.<\/li>\n
              • How many cool devices they own.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem, is to declare that the problem is impossible to be solved. No engineer can walk away from an unsolvable problem until it\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s solved. Neither illness nor distraction can be sufficient to get the engineer off the situation. These types of challenges quickly become personal, leading often to a battle between the engineer and the laws of nature.<\/p>\n

                At times, engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem (other times just because they forget to eat or bathe!). And when they succeed in solving the problem, they will experience an ego rush that is better than having sex \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u20ac\u0153 and to specify, I\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2m also including the kind of sex where other people are involved!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                Engineering is what every other parents wants their children to do. Needless to say what importance it holds in India! Engineers are treated with respect everywhere, social gatherings, family functions, friends\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2-meet. Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be an engineer. But, the word \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00cb\u0153engineer\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2, is greatly stereotyped. If there\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u201e\u00a2s somebody in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4090,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4089","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4089","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4089"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4089\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4090"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4089"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4089"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.askiitians.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4089"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}