How to tackle the troublesome Roommates!

Have you ever experienced a life with a roommate? Many people say that it a boon to have a great roommate; while on other hand living with a roommate gets very difficult at times. Roommate is someone who gives you comfort when you are away from family and is one of the best friends you could have in your life. But, many a times the situations get reversed; if there are conflicts amongst you and your roommate. These conflicts might to be due to several reasons, with some of them as minor and some of them as major.

It is not that the relations with roommate always remain same; they do change as the time passes by and you start getting to know that person. Sharing room with strangers comes with advantages and disadvantages, so it is very important to handle these situations with respect, cleverness and maturely. In this article let us discuss the problems usually you would face with your roommates and try to come up with solutions for the same.

Sharing Personal Belongings

The first problem/reason which a person faces with roommates is ‘Personal Belongings’. It is very annoying, when your roommate starts using or taking your personal things without your permission. This is one of the situations where the problems start. Most of us don’t find it comfortable when others are using our stuff and do not even take permission for the same. For example, many people use other’s towel, without asking them which is not a good thing at all. Also, they tend use perfumes, sunglasses, books, study materials and other various personal stuffs.

Solution: In order to overcome this kind of situation, make it very clear to your roommate in the very beginning that you don’t like people using your stuff without informing you. Make it a rule ‘Not to share your personal stuff nor use anybody’s personal stuff without permission’. Make sure that you follow this rule, before imposing it on your roommate.

Cleanliness

Another problem which arises frequently between roommates is CLEANLINESS. Who is responsible for cleaning the room or who is going to clean the room, wash dishes, clean kitchen and washroom, throwing out the waste etc.; is one of the debatable topics that people staying together have. And it is one of the most important reasons of conflict. If this is the situation with your roommate, then talk to them personally and make them understand the problem you are facing. Try to explain how important cleanliness and hygiene is.

Solution: Talk/ discuss and make a time table for days and assign work with respect to cleanliness and other chores. This will divide your work equally and there will be no conflicts. Follow the routine or change it after sometime and exchange the duties. Follow it regularly and rigorously, so that it becomes a habit and no conflict arises. Even after this situation still the same; then go and speak to your respective warden or owner. If even that does not help, then start doing the same what the other roommate is doing and don’t bother at all. Keep all their belongings at such a place where they can’t help, but destroy or discard all their dirt. Keep doing the same until; they understand the significance of the cleanliness. This will bring them in line and conflict will be over in the house.

Money Sharing

Third problem is with respect to MONEY SHARING. There are many roommates who don’t want to pay electricity bill or share grocery bills; which they should be sharing on a regular basis and paying their share on time.

Solution: In such a scenario, pay your share and tell them to pay their share on time. If they do not do this, then try speaking to them. In spite of you warning them again and again, they do not listen to you; then stop paying for their expenses. Start locking your stuff in a cupboard or your room on a continuous basis. Discuss this problem with your accommodation owner or the warden and intimate them about the reason why you are paying them less. DO NOT EVER try to pay for their expenses (once in a while is fine); as if you do it on regular basis, then they might get habituated to it.

Moody Roommate

Whenever you are trying to live with a roommate or you are finding one; make sure that you have a healthy discussion with him or her before you decide to be with them. This is necessary, as if your mindset do not match; then the arguments are bound to happen. If the person with whom you are sharing or are going to share the room with is of NEGATIVE mindset; then image your situation. You will always get a negative vibe from that person and this will affect your life and mind adversely.

If the same person is of happy and adjusting nature, then it will be good for you as you will become good friends and the most important part is that you will have peace of mind. It is very important that when two people live together; they are on same page. (I mean that both should have alike mindset). For this, you need to ensure that you are a positive person, who is ready for making adjustments (to a certain extent) and do not have a negative approach towards life.

Also, you need to check whether that person has a good character and does not have any bad habits such as smoking or drinking. Do not keep a roommate who is too hype and has any of bad habits; thinking that is a cool thing to do. If you have such a roommate, please either shift out of that place or throw your roommate out. This will impact your life adversely and you might lose track or focus towards your goals.

Dependent Roommate

There are many roommates who are totally dependent on you for every small tasks; which is neither good for him/her or for you. These types of roommates are irritating as they can’t find their own stuff without your help. Remember that you are not living there, to baby sit anyone. Your roommate is a grown person and should be responsible enough. You are not staying in sharing to take burden or dependency of your roommates.

Initially help them or then teach them how to do these simple activities and even then if they are dependent on you then stop helping them and simply reject their queries by saying that you don’t know. Many roommates are careless and don’t take care of their things properly, so let them understand the after-effect of their carelessness.

Having fun and cracking jokes is quite a common thing when you live with different people or you live in group. But do not let anybody make fun of you or mock at you. Many roommates make fun of other roommates. It is fine if the joke being cracked is at a smaller level, but it should not go beyond a level that is not acceptable.

If you have such roommates those who are mocking at you or do not take care of your emotions and feeling; tell them that they are crossing their limits. Be very firm and make them clear that it is your personality and you love yourself. Do not allow them to ruin your confidence or give them the authority to mock at you. It is suggested that you should change room or move out of that place and try finding a better place for yourself. (However this is a short term solution and you cannot keep on changing the rooms as and when this happens). It is important that you respect yourself and others. Do not get into any situation where you go beyond the limit and make fun of others.

Time Management 

There are other minor issues that you might face; such as sleeping time or bathing time mismatch or even might have difference in opinions. One of the best solutions is to SPEAK. Have a healthy discussion where you both or you all are trying to put your thoughts across to each other and come up with a solution.

I have seen many people those who try to stab you or even have gone to an extent of killing each other; just because they did not get well with each other. Do not let your situations go this far. As and when there is a problem try discussing it and sorting it out. If things aren’t under your control go and discuss it with your parents or wardens. Do not keep it in your mind and then suffer.

If your roommate is good then you are bound to have a friend for your life. These creatures, fondly known as ‘Roommates’ are very strange (as you do not know how they would turn out to be); but they are the best people as you would be sharing your precious time with them. So choose your roommates after through consideration and treat them the way you want them to treat you. I hope this will help!